Anyway, these were the thoughts on my mind early this morning in random word vomit form:
NeekSpeak121209

Sorry it couldn’t be more eloquent or fluid, just had to release.

When I dialed that number I didn’t really know what to expect, but you were just what I needed. I can’t say I’m tryna get that old thing back, but its good to know who you can depend on during hard times.

Its funny how easy it is to blog when I’m going through something, but this blog is supposed to chronicle my life so I can look back later at my growth and I wanna be able to remember some good things too, lol. I’m working on it!

On one hand I’m letting go of an unhealthy relationship that caused me alot of pain and on the other hand are all these great memories of the good times and soooo much laughter, and sooooo many smiles. But things will be back to normal soon enough. I haven’t even cried once, and I’m not really hurting. Feels kinda shitty to say but it’s true.

Overall I’m just feeling like there is an empty space inside me right now, just a void. I have wrapped everything up to the best of my abilities and it is done. I know the hole will close on it’s own in time, but for now I just have to get used to one of my best friends not being there. Here it goes. Day 1.

My Blackberry is dying a horrible death right before my eyes. About 20 minutes ago I noticed the battery was going dead so I put the charger in and to my shock and dismay it didn’t start charging. So I checked to see if my charger was plugged into the wall, and it was. So then I started wiggling the charger in the phone and the whole charging receptacle thingy was lose. So now I have a damn near dead phone that I can’t charge that will die very soon and be gone forever. Luckily I was smart enough to back up my contacts, but I am dreading tomorrow without my phone. I already know T-Mobile is going to try to blame me, but I’m going to call them tomorrow anyway. Either way, my cousin has been trying to sell me his newer Blackberry Curve for a minute now, so there may still be a happy ending.

Welp, I need to take my ass to bed, but I will be back very soon. There are definitely more crucial issues to fill you in on, but I’ll save those for tomorrow because I’m exhausted at the moment.

I’m glad to be back!

Missed yous guys,
Neek

I really wanna know why people are always so quick to go FLIP MODE on me?! Got me like “Busta, what it is right now?” lol. But seriously, it’s like we’re cool one second, then the next thing you know they are talking big shit about me to everyone else. And I’m talking big fabricated, imagination station type shit. Shit I never said or did EVER. And then everyone wonders why I’ve become a fucking hermit. I don’t need the extras, I’m perfectly content without it. I’ll be at home, chillin with my fam and “gettin to the money” (© Geisha).

So if you don’t really care about me or my well being, then could you please stop pretending you do and just let me live my life? That’s all I ask. Is it just me or am I on repeat? I’m pretty sure this is the last time I’ll be making this request, from now on I’ll just make better choices when choosing friends.

Love & Happiness,
Neek