Ok so, since I’ve been stuck in my room tryna get my recuperation on, I’ve been having a lot of IM convos with people I hadn’t spoken to in a while. Well, my friend Tanisha was online today and I was chatting with her and acting silly as usual.  During our convo I was looking thru pictures on this website from different parties and I ran across this unfortunate picture of a girl with the biggest forehead I’ve ever seen in my life. Like even bigger than mine! Crazy right?! Lol Anyway, of course I showed Tanisha, and I ended up posting it in this Facebook group as well. I had to share the comedy! Just look for yourself:

DAYUUUUUUUUM!

Well, after me and Tanisha finished cracking jokes she told me to hold on a minute. So I sat there patiently watching “Martin” and 15 minutes later she sent me this:

I was so upset!

That is false advertising if I’ve ever seen it. The power of photoshop is a scary thing. In only 15 minutes Tanisha took Keke from disasterous to decent. I mean she could probably be an extra in a Jarule video. I honestly don’t know where Tanisha got the name “Keke” from, but it fits, lmao. Just insane.

Ok, so here’s the deal. At one point we both had a thing for/with the same guy. I know what was going down, as cryptic and secretive as you thought you were being. I know. So there is no point in denying it, and hey I even understand. He was Mr. “I Like My Privacy”, thinking it would keep us from knowing about eachother. I got caught up in it too, I swear I did. But what makes no sense to me is the random but apparent animosity aimed toward me. Like we can’t be civil just because you’ve got some unspoken underlying rivalry with me. I have no problem with you, but I do have a problem with you thinking that comparison or competition is necessary. I’m not on him anymore, maybe you are, hey to each their own, but I just get tired of the extras. Just to clear up some misconceptions that seem to be floating around: No one is hating on you, I don’t know you to have a problem with you. I do not want anything of yours, you can have him, please believe me. I don’t know what he’s told you about me, I honestly don’t care. Just know while he’s whispering sweet nothings in your ear, he’s coming to me on some “she’s in love with me but I’m not feeling her” shit. I know the game, the question is, do you?

Oh, and if you think this is about you then it probably is. Wanna talk about it? I’m here and willing to discuss it. If not, that’s great as well. Whatever it takes to end the 9th grade shit. It really is just irritating and unnecessary. So this is the last time I’ll be mentioning it, and I’ll go back to trying to get better instead of worrying about this foolishness.

Just clearing the air,

Neek

These four walls are closing in on me. I feel like I’m being quarantined. Like I’m the little ebola monkey from Outbreak or something. I miss human interaction. I miss being able to laugh, breathe, and talk without pain. I miss my baby. I miss eating cereal. I miss playing with Amare and Kiani. I miss D coming out of nowhere tickling me until I sock him in his arm. I even miss the shit that annoys me, like my mom making me take my little bad ass siblings places because she’s lazy. And this is only 2 days into my 2 week getting better process, which pretty much consists of me not having or doing all these things.

To be honest, I’m mostly just tired of staring at this computer screen and the TV. Some days I like laying around being lazy, but when I have no other choice, I get cabin fever SO fast. I’m lying here looking and feeling like death warmed over, but I’m still trying to find entertainment, because as hard as I try I cannot go to sleep until I am completely exhausted. I basically wrote all this to say, if you are able to go outside and get some fresh air, go do it for me. Go out and cherish the one moment in your life when you can honestly say “hey, atleast I’ve got it better than Neek”. LMAO Just playin, just playin. But seriously play hopscotch, or do a backflip, or blow some bubbles just for me, because I can’t, and I desperately want to.

With love & hopes that you NEVER feel like this,

Neek

-dead- I just risked my left lung for this shit.
Eddie Murphy used to be the man, red leather suit and all.

So yesterday was pretty eventful, but in a bad way. I was sitting here being sick and trying to entertain myself via Youtube when all of a sudden I had another coughing fit, but this time it was worse. I couldn’t stop and I had to run to the bathroom because there was all kinda phlegm in my mouth, and when I looked at it there was blood. That’s when I was finally like hell nah, and I went to ask my mom to take me to the hospital. When she saw me she started panicking because I was looking kinda blue. I hadn’t looked in the mirror all day because I’ve been pretty lethargic, but when I did I noticed it too. I mean I wasn’t like completely blue or anything but my skin tone was definitely blueish.

So we rushed to the ER and I got all checked in. The triage nurse listened to my chest and was like “how long has this been going on?” I told her almost 2 weeks and she basically lectured me about waiting so long, but I mean usually when I get colds they just heal themselves, I had no idea it was anything serious. The whole time I was there (damn near 8 hours) every nurse and doctor I encountered was like they were glad I came in because things would have gotten far worse had I not. They took a chest x-ray and shortly after I got hooked up to this IV with antibiotics and saline. Turns out I have bacterial pneumonia. Please believe I was asking what every little thing was, I hate hospitals and needles so I just wanted to be sure I knew what was going on. They even made me wear this oxygen mask because apparently I wasn’t getting enough oxygen in my blood. It was honestly one of the most scary experiences of my life. All the doctors kept talking like I was just lucky to be alive, I mean I don’t know if it was THAT crucial, but that’s what their tones said.

So after like 6 hours, they were talking about admitting me, but I REALLY didn’t wanna stay there, so my mom and I tried to figure out what other options I had. Times like this are when I really appreciate my mom. She was on it, and she was fighting hard for what I wanted because I was too weak to be vocalizing my concerns firmly. I just watch too many documentaries on Discovery Health, and I see people saying they took a loved one into a hospital for something simple and the relative never left the hospital. Just not tryna have that be my story. So they said I could take my antibiotics at home and they recommended her renting an oxygen tank for me in case I start looking blue again. So we got the antibiotics from the pharmacy and rolled out. She’s picking up the oxygen machine tomorrow.

I feel so disabled. I’m supposed to be resting, but I can’t sleep because I’m in pain. And these pills they gave me are big as hell. I only ever take gelcaps, and these shits look like big ass breath mints. I almost threw up tryna take the first one. Anyway, since I’m going to be out of commission for atleast the next week, I guess the computer will be my only companion. I don’t really feel like seeing people, because I’m feeling & looking rough. I go to the doctor in a week to see how I’m progressing, unless things get worse in which case I’m supposed to go right in to the ER again. I’m already feeling a little better, so hopefully everything just goes better from here on out.

Anyway, if you see me online, which you probably will, feel free to entertain me however you can. I need it. I’m actually trying not to laugh which, as any one who knows me knows, is hard for me. Anyway, I’m too tired to even proofread this, so I apologize for any grammatical errors, you’re just gonna have to forgive me this time. I’m gonna try to find some Aleve or something.

Love you guys, please just pray that I get better without complications,

Neek